First let me say that our USCIS paperwork is finally in the mail. That took way too long to get out which is completely insane because it was only a page and a half...hardly taxing. Anyway, it's out and now we just have to wait to hear back from the immigration office about when our fingerprinting appointments will be. Could be two weeks from now or four months from now -- hard telling.
So the thing that I was wondering has to do with where to live geographically. To say that I'm unsettled here in WA would be a gross understatement. Perhaps the itchy feet is related to the 3 years that we've already been here. I really don't know. However, I've begun looking into other locations to live and it's impossible to disconnect the idea of relocation and the idea of meeting the cultural needs of our adopted child. Where do we set down roots so that our child's cultural heritage and needs are met while also meeting our needs. According to Google, the only places in the country with significant Korean populations are California, New York and somewhere in the top 10--WA. Crap! I'm not keen on setting up camp in WA, and we can't afford to live in CA and New York?...well it would depend on where. But URGH!!
So here's my question: Is it more significant to meet the need for our child to connect with adoptive families or the need to see copious numbers of Korean people in the neighborhood? I'd really love to live somewhere like Colorado but if it's going to create problems for our child's sense of identity, than what kind of lunatic would I be to set my child up for iminent distress?
I feel like our world is opening up in so many ways, but I also feel the walls closing in.
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I actually think it's important to be near people that will look like your baby, but not so much that there are tons of Koreans. Or what I've heard, anyway, is that it is good to be able to learn from people who experience the world as you do. Since most people will probably perceive your child as Asian, I'd try to settle somewhere with an Asian community, but also find Korean identity where you can.
My mother-in-law is half Chinese, and told me that growing up in a very white neighborhood she felt like she was ugly. Not because someone told her that, but because she didn't know any other Asian women. I also knew someone else adopted from S Korea who struggled with trying to figure out how to be Asian in a fairly white community. I think people naturally want to see and know people who are like them; it validates who they are and their experiences.
Bigger cities are generally more diverse, but I think you can find enclaves of people like your baby in smaller towns too. You just have to try harder. Good luck.
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