In Reverse

Today, I had a thought...well, many but that's not the point. As I work on this Parenting Plan, it occurs to me that as adoptive parents, we are being asked to deal with life situations in complete opposition to how birth parents deal with things. Here is what I mean. When someone becomes pregnant, 9 times out of 10, they hope and plan for the best (unless information precludes the event). Healthy baby, 10 toes, 10 fingers, typical baby temperament, etc. One might need to consider day care, but usually it involves things like general safety of the facility, compassion of the caretakers, cost and child-teacher ratios. Only when a post-birth anomaly presents itself do most parents say "Hmm...this kiddo seems to be pinging off the wall, perhaps we should talk to her teacher and the pediatrician and see what's up." Then...they launch into full investigation of the situation and resources.

Our situation is reversed. We have to plan for the worst. Before we even meet our child, we have to run the following scenarios through our heads. 1) Has he been exposed to alcohol in utero, 2) Drugs?, 3) Was he abused by anyone sexually?, 4) What will be the impact of institutionalization on his development etc. For each of these considerations, we are being asked to research the developmental implications, and identify any and all community resources available to us should these less-than-desirable circumstances manifest. We literally have to have all the worst-case scenarios identified, researched and written down. Major rain cloud on the enthusiasm of parenting! Now, we know that it has a purpose and will probably serve as a beneficial resource, but we kind of feel like fish out of water. We have zero people in the area that we know, let alone, families who would possibly know of helpful resources. It just feels like we are being asked to run a race without a map.